Being persevere

Since my childhood, I heard many stories from my grandma as everyone does. Each story is kind of different. Some are having fighting; some are having mankind, jealousy, natures and blah blah blah….

 But I was interested in story of successive person who won the world by their own ability, power, and mind. In most stories, one thing was common; is time changing. Everyone had a good time and bad time both. In good time, they try to keep it. In bad time, they do not get what they want. In every glimpse, they get a failure. In this condition, they keep continue their work and after a time duration, when their time changes and they get good results as per their work ship.

And here I am. Since long time, I have been struggling to achieve what I want. But each time, I don’t get it due to, what can I say, a bad luck or I was effortless. As the result, I am too frustrated. I tried various different things, but same result occurs.  In time, I cannot say a single thing that I can do, that much confidence I have lost. But still, I am having an expectation. The Expectation in the sense, keep doing the things.

As a student, everyone considers that if you study something, you will know about that subject/topic and you should get the marks in exams, right?? If the same case for me, my knowledge will be same even after the study. How can it be possible?? In continuation, I am getting the marks as per my efforts. Sometimes I don’t get passing marks also. I should not say this, but I feel jealous when effortless people get more marks than me. I am not having problems with others, but at least I should get what I deserve. Still, I am searching my solution, being persevere.

The same thing is going on in my social life which sucks more than my academic. I don’t know what people irritate in me. Being simple, casual or cool is not sufficient for liking me or talking to me.  Fucking you is the only way to get the respect from others. Three things make me angry, which I don’t want to be. I try to be calm down but this is not easy for a lone person. And I become nervous; people keep asking why are you nervous? Why are you not happy? Now, my smile seems like I am about weeping. My happy face is not that much happy that people can feel it.

These days, I am being scared. I don’t know what is going to in my life, but I am hoping for good BEING PERSEVERE.